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Laura Thompson

what's my secret?

no pain no gain is your secret
it's her secret it's their secret

as you sing and stomp I wonder
what have I gained

I don't know pain do I
I know not having the right clothes

not getting the guy NOT having the right body
but not having the wrong body

I know being lost in the shuffle
overlooked time and again by a world

that doesn't see what's to notice
I know having it easy nothing

is truly valued when you don't know suffering
I see you on stage talking about your fears

your insecurities your weaknesses
but as the words roll off your tongue

I see your confidence your strength
I hear it in your voice you can't fool me

I am not like you
I want to relate to your struggle but

I don't know it
or do I

just like a girl

I'm supposed to be
beautiful but boring

agreeable not opinionated
reassuring but not self-assured

I should be hungry but not eat
feel anger but no speak

cry alone but don't bother others
show them a smile

you want me to give support
but not need any

that would make me weak
weak just like a girl

girls who make your world go round
without a thanks

providing and taking care of
organizing and THINKING

always with a kind smile

for your ungrateful
demanding assuming

just like a girl
turn the tables and

watch you run away
whimpering and begging

us to get back in our places
to make things better

providing what you
can't live without


of me caring about things I shouldn't

that I still need to give less of a shit

about what other people do
or think or look like

that I need to waste less time
mentally sizing others up

myself next to them
no amount of good fortune

in my life
can bring me the confidence

the inner calm
that can only come from within me

for only me
I am okay

I work hard enough
I work passionately enough

I enjoy life enough
or as much as they do

I think
at least I do when I'm not wasting time

wondering how others see me
comparing my idea of what they see

to what I'm seeing
wondering if I'm okay

not realizing they're looking at me
thinking the same thing

I guess they are
or maybe they're

better at not
giving a shit

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